Momentos are small, personal journal entries I write every day (well, mostly). The name and the format are from Niall Doherty, and used with his permission.

The weird date formats are intentional.

05. 01. Sunday 

My scarf spread out on the ground, we took our shoes & socks off and laid down in the grass to watch the clouds, soak up the sunlight and have a long heart-to-heart we rarely have the occasion for these days. 

We’ve been best friends for over 25 years, been through a lot, and I’m grateful to still have her in my life. 

05. 02. Monday

I had a tight schedule today, but ended up reading on the couch for most of the afternoon. It’s very rare that I permit myself to do so. 

The alternative today was pushing through and probably getting sick – work undone is preferable to a sinus infection. 

05. 03. Tuesday

I don’t go to the spas very often, but two and a haf years without is probably a record – and I missed it. Few things are as relaxing as the hot water or a sauna.

It also felt good to spend time with my sister without either of us being on our phones. 

05. 04. Wednesday

Today was supposed to be rest day, so I only went to pick up my costume, did my nails, studied with my nephew, washed & fixed up the bike and answered a few emails.. I did not finish my website or write my newsletter or do the sewing needed for Sunday, but I guess I’ll figure it out. 

I wish I could have rehearsed more than the 10 minutes I did, though. 

05. 08. Sunday

And then it was CairoFestival time, and there’s no way I’m able to separate the flood of experiences and emotions of these four days.

The joy of seeing my dance friends, old and new, again. The loneliness of going home to my sister’s place, alone, instead of sharing with other participants, of being set apart by my own choices.

Reconnecting with my own body and my own dance in a way I haven’t for the longest time. Balancing mylimits and needs against the drive to take all the workshops, go to all parties, to be at all places, all the time. 

Finding that balance, for once.

All The Feelings of watching show after show, all those excellent artists, feeling connected and inspired and also made small at the same time. 

The way the organiser told me, after my own performance, that I should have entered it to the (non-)competition.

05. 09. Monday

I might have learnt to honour my limits better (and gosh I’m proud of how much I’ve learnt in that regard), but I still need to be able to stop and take time after something ends. Life flows though, whether I flow with it or not, and need to hold on to it, now more than ever. Things pass too fast as it is.

05. 10. Tuesday

How do you say goodbye when you know it might be the last time? 

05. 11. Wednesday

Blood test, doctor’s visit, content making, gym session. Dinner with my partner, so we could go to dance class together. I came home instead, in hopes of getting a good night’s sleep.

05. 12. Thursday

Between the festival, the (non-)competition and the reception of my own production on sunday, something switched in my mind. For so long I’ve been focused on becoming the best dancer I can, and was discouraged by the slowness of my progress. Now, I’m baack to thinking – as I did a long time ago – that dance is a means, not an end.

Oriental dance may be my chosen medium, but I’m an artist first and a belly dancer second.

05. 13. Friday

In October, it took me two days to get to Delft – by bike, and pushing myself quite hard.

Today, it takes little more than two hours. 

Technology is wonderful sometimes.