04. 02. Saturday
Decision fatigue is definitely a thing. I’ve scoured the whole Europen internet for the fabric, came up with 20 candidates – any of which would be okay but none really what I wanted – and you’re telling me I’ll have to pick one now?
04. 03 Sunday
When I moved to Brussels the coffee truck was my only place to chat with someone – Alfio’s Italian, and I didn’t speak French yet. Over time, I often ran into friends who lived nearby, and even more often made friends (of sorts) with other market-goers over coffee. In the last two years, it was our only social life, Sunday coffee strictly outdoors, in groups (not-so-)strictly limited at 4 people.
It’s a regular meetup now – if you want to find me in Brussels, Sunday 11.30 AM at Alfio’s coffee truck is the place. Remember to bring your own cup!
04. 04. Monday
Waking up early – by which I mean, to an alarm, earlier than usual – is painful enough that I wonder if any time I gained may be lost in productivity. With interest. My sleep cycle has been all over the place, though, so I’m not ready to abandon this experiment after the first day, tempted as I am to do so.
04. 05. Tuesday
Activities are on Easter break, so we had friends over for dinner. L. cooked 2 kilos of carbonnades with fries, acting as if he does it every day, and the friends brought the wine. Good, simple fun, good food, good company.
04. 06. Wednesday
I’m sore, tired and sleep-deprived, and technically, I have less than two hours to record a bunch of videos that I will obviously not do today. Again.
I sort of regret accepting the couchsurfer who arrives this afternoon. I’ll need to tell him to be gone from here tomorrow during the day so we both can work (and I can record), and reasonable as this request is, it makes me uncomfortable to have to make it.
04. 07. Thursday
I always plan more to film than I actually can. It makes sense: the setup is half the work, so I want to do as much as possible in a single session. But it’s also frustrating, because I always keep on until I’m exhausted, and still I know, every single time, that I haven’t done all I wanted.
04. 08. Friday
Scrambling the whole morning to somehow correct a tech issue. I set up an alternative link and reached out as far as I could to make sure anyone who tried the wrong one would get it, but I’m unsure if people who got discouraged from signing up once can be persuaded again.
04. 09 Saturday
I’ve been wondering if I’m too burnt out to ever enjoy any sort of work again. But here I go, all energised (though not less tired for it) after 10 hours of almost non-stop work.
It helps that I did some 6 different jobs during those hours.
04. 10. Sunday
I prepared everything: recorded, edited, wrote emails and captions, all ready to go tomorrow morning. and THEN I realised I complicated it way too much, that I assumed my audience was as much into this as I was. That I’m trying to communicate so much that my main point will likely be missed entirely.
I’m glad I have no way to remake it, because if I did, I probably would.
04. 11. Monday
I spent most of the day scouring the entire European Internet to find functional, decent-looking clothing for my cycle trip, and came up mostly empty-handed.
I know clothing isn’t a right, but can I cycle around Europe in my undies then? Because apparently I’m way too fat to be clothed in the outdoors.
04. 12. Tuesday
This one was lost.
04. 13. Wednesday
You know what happens when you try to fix problems in a hurry? You make even more mistakes. Rinse, repeat, until everything falls apart.
I’ve been sleeping badly, eating whatever and trying to get stuff done non-stop for the last 4 days. Even after I cleared out anything I could from my list.
I’m still convinced it isn’t that I have objectively more things to do than others, it’s merely a personality trait.
04. 14. Thursday
Something about inspiration. About needing to be prepared to welcome it. About how rusty the door to that particular space of mine is. Because I’m unprepared these days.
Or because the pressure to create something amazing is too big, and not yet compensated by the growing pressure of the upcoming deadline.
04. 15. Friday
Today’s margin was missing my gym class, which I tell myself is okay because of how much I’ve cycled around. It was good biking, too.
I’m worried one of these days I won’t be able to get my schedule right by just missing class, and my plans will collapse upon me like a house of cards.