Momentos are small, personal journal entries I write every day (well, mostly). The name and the format are from Niall Doherty, and used with his permission.
The weird date formats are intentional .
03. 21. Monday
Cardio targets are rarely accessible, and progress in the gym difficult to measure – we rarely repeat workouts. Each time I skip a few weeks, like now, it feels I’ve lost all I’d gained the months before.
And then I go to the gym, still under the cold that kept me away and heavily medicated to keep the corresponding asthma flare-up at bay – and do the 1k row in 4:45, comfortably under the 5-minute target. Twice.
03. 22. Tuesday
I used to enjoy arguing with people about their nonsensical stances, be it about the “female principle” or whether certain kinds of salt are better than others. In hindsight, I think I was naive enough to think I could convince them.
I pick my battles a lot more carefully these days.
It makes my life easier, but it makes it a lot more difficult to connect to others, too.
03. 23. Wednesday
Nope, not today.
03. 24. Thursday
Not today, either. I never realised the enormity of a task that, no matter how small in itself, has to be repeated EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I might have copied the format, but I already see I need to create a better system for myself. Even if I do manage to build the habit.
03. 25. Friday
Technology tested, slides ready, playlist made, notes finished. Not entirely sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight – more often than not, I can’t when stressed -, but I’m as prepared as can be.
It feels strange no to be in a last-minute rush.
03. 26. Saturday
My brain tells me my success wasn’t really, that I didn’t really reach my goal, that it should have been better.
But, for once, I disagree with it. I feel elated. I want to celebrate.
So I called a couple of friends,and my partner, and we went out to eat the best shrimp croquettes in town.
Life is good today.
03. 27. Sunday
She’s often made it clear that she thinks I’m a weirdo. And yet, I wanted to make friends with her – but our conversation often felt awkward and forced to me.
Figure my surprise when, just the two of us at our regular friend-group hangout, we chatted easily for almost two hours.
03. 28. Monday
I have both not that much and an ovewhelming amount of things to do. At the same time. I’m paralysed.
03. 29. Tuesday
I don’t think I’ll ever undersand why a man from the US would think it appropriate to explain, not just once but several fucking times, that “the Arabs ruled the Iberian peninsula until 1492” – to a bunch of Spanish women.
03. 30. Wednesday
I wrote out all the thing I need to get done before leaving for Hungary, and nicely scheduled each item. On paper, it almost looks feasible.
If only I didn’t know that my whole schedule will go off the rails right away tomorrow morning.
03. 31. Thursday
Let’s put those potatoes into the oven now, they take a while.
Well, if I still want to go out, we have to eat something else, there’s not enough time.
By the time dinner’s ready, I will be super late.
Surely I’m not going to bike across town, in this miserable weather, without having dinner, to be late for a meetup?
Noone will miss me anyways.
04. 01. Friday
There’s something about having a friend who can come over lunch and comfortably stay for the afternoon while we both have to work.
I kept excusing myself, of course – the plan had been to actively spend the afternoon with my friend, not just have him here while I do my stuff.
We did have time to make some cookies together, though.