{"id":2281,"date":"2022-05-02T11:45:12","date_gmt":"2022-05-02T10:45:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/?p=2281"},"modified":"2022-05-06T09:41:15","modified_gmt":"2022-05-06T08:41:15","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/momentos-16-30-04-222\/","title":{"rendered":"","raw":""},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false,"raw":""},"author":1,"featured_media":2336,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_en_post_content":"

04. 16. Saturday<\/span><\/h3>\nI wasn\u2019t quite awake yet, but I dragged myself out of bed - and on the couch in the living room, full of sunlight. It\u2019s been since forever that I last saw such a light, full daylight but still tinted rose, a promise of a beautiful day. We lay on the couch, cuddling, for a beautiful eternity of ten minutes.<\/span>\n

04. 17. Sunday<\/span><\/h3>\n\u201cWhen the band plays the next Scottish, I\u2019ll wait for you\u201d, he said. I had invited him to dance previously, so this was nice, until he added,<\/span>\n\n\u201cIf you can find me\u201d.<\/span>\n\n\u201cHow about you find me, then?\u201d<\/span>\n\n\u201c<\/span>You<\/span><\/i> invited <\/span>me<\/span><\/i>, so\u2026\u201d<\/span>\n\n\u201cDo you truly want to turn it into a power game?\u201d<\/span>\n\n\u2026<\/span>\n\nWe did not dance, in the end.<\/span>\n

04. 18. Monday<\/span><\/h3>\nI should know better by now than to try and solve problems when as groggy and sleep-deprived as today. All I achieve is a giant headache and a sense of frustration, while the problems remain unsolved.<\/span>\n\nI should have gone to the park 5 hours earlier.<\/span>\n

04. 19. Tuesday<\/span><\/h3>\nI had put the box with the cycle-to-charge in my bag some 3 days ago, to be sure I wouldn\u2019t forget it when I arrive to the bikeshop. Once there,\u00a0 I explained I wanted the piece installed, so he opened the box to have a look - but <\/span>of course<\/span><\/i> it was the other box, empty since my partner had it installed on his bike last week.<\/span>\n

04. 20. Wednesday<\/span><\/h3>\nStrange to recall how much I loved flying when I was a kid. I detest it now. True, back then, I only had the opportunity every few years, and it was always for holidays to interesting pieces. Now it\u2019s pretty much the only reasonable way to come home and see my family, since there still aren\u2019t reliable train connections.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nAt least I got some work done on the plane.<\/span>\n

04. 21. Thursday\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\nSpent the day about: rent a bike for my stay, back home for some work, then to the seamstress to try my new costume, then up the hill to my parents\u2019. Not sure if it\u2019s the biking around that makes me so tired or the pretending to ignore all the things that are wrong.<\/span>\n

04. 22. Friday<\/span><\/h3>\nNope, not today.<\/span>\n

04. 23. Saturday<\/span><\/h3>\nThere\u2019s absolutely nothing like the feeling of swinging a 5k hammer to bring a brick wall down.\u00a0<\/span>\n

04. 24. Sunday<\/span><\/h3>\nSpent the afternoon trying to decide on a tablet for the trip. Will this one be good enough to work on? Is that one in a good enough state? Do I trust that 2nd hand seller to begin with?\u00a0<\/span>\n\nAt 10pm, I gave up.\u00a0<\/span>\n

04. 25. Monday<\/span><\/h3>\nRan an errand for my parents across town, and as I drove over the bridge, I suddenyl found myself yearning for the city. To walk her streets, and meet friends in the coffeehouses, to cycle along the Danube in the sun.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nNot sure I like the way my life revolves around my home these days.\u00a0<\/span>\n

04. 26. Tuesday<\/span><\/h3>\nSpent the day working, trying to get everything done today and tomorrow to have a few non-working days while with my family. I even did some housework and exercised a bit, and was pretty proud of myself - until I relised, at 8pm, that I did not practice for next Sunday\u2019s show after all.<\/span>\n

04. 27. Wednesday\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\nStruggling to find a way to write about private things. I may share some of my own stuff with the internet, but I refuse to expose anyone else.\u00a0<\/span>\n

04. 28. Thursday\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\nGot some family affairs done after a long process. It's a relief, but the finality of it has me worried. If things are neatly arranged, what comes next?\u00a0<\/span>\n

04. 29. Friday\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\nI feel incompetent in the face of aging and sickness. Guilty for not doing more, for not being here most of the time, for not putting my life on hold to help.<\/span>\n\nOf course it's irrational. But not less real.\u00a0<\/span>\n

04. 30. Saturday\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\nWhen I say I'm burnt out, I don't mean fed up. I mean I've been slowly recovering for almost 3 years now, and\u00a0 some days, after 8 full hours of sleep I still feel I had only 4 or so, joint pains, headache, asthma flare-up included.\u00a0<\/span>","_en_post_name":"momentos-16-30-04-222","_en_post_excerpt":"I should know better by now than to try and solve problems when as groggy and sleep-deprived as today. All I achieve is a giant headache and a sense of frustration, while the problems remain unsolved.\n\nI should have gone to the park 5 hours earlier.","_en_post_title":"Momentos 16-30. 04. 2022","_fr_post_content":"","_fr_post_name":"","_fr_post_excerpt":"","_fr_post_title":"","_nl_post_content":"","_nl_post_name":"","_nl_post_excerpt":"","_nl_post_title":"","edit_language":"nl","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6,76],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2281","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","6":"hentry","7":"category-blog","8":"category-momentos","10":"post-with-thumbnail","11":"post-with-thumbnail-large"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eszter-maura.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/DSC_0065-2-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1440&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4KP79-AN","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2281"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2337,"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281\/revisions\/2337"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eszter-maura.eu\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}